i'm still not at the popular table

So this week, I did something somewhat impulsive and signed up for a 3 year contract at a pretty swanky health club. I've done the gym thing before and I know how my motivation works. Spending money is generally enough to keep me committed to something for a few months, but I'm also easily distracted and will become obsessed with my next undertaking pretty shortly after.

Anyway, like I said, impulsive. And also like I said, swanky. This place is co-ed, where the meat heads work out and grunt and clink their dumbbells together and they sell redbull/ protein smoothies. And I had my first personal training appointment; the one that comes free with a membership and is made up of 50% going over your "goals" and 50% trying to sell you on another contract to meet weekly with a personal trainer so you meet those "goals." Only I didn't know what my goals were... uh, get skinny? Be healthier? NOT GOOD ENOUGH. According to my body fat percentage, body mass index, and lean body mass numbers, I'm hopeless (hopeless!) unless I hire them to make me over.

I cannot think of anything more mortifying than that one hour, even with my knowledge of how those places, and their commission structures, work. But the thing is, there's nothing they can tell me to make me feel worse about myself than I already do. I already know, and that's why I'm there. Please just tell me what my target heart rates should be then get back to clicking and grunting.

But still, the wind's out of my sails already and I dread going back. I know I have to (the money!) and that I deserve to be there with my jiggly arms as much as they do with their lack of neck. Whatever.

More to come on these adventures later.